Once out, once in…

I am my own heroin, filled with sin.

One more shot of pain; down that road again.

Escaping from within; once out, once in.

A great loss at a big win.

An outrageous spin on what life has been.

Then coming back again.

Just a theory…

Counteracting the effects of love.

Do I believe in love? Yes. Do I believe that I have felt love at it’s greatest? Yes. Do I believe that I have loved to my fullest extent? Yes.

But, of all things given as face value, love is the least accountable for. It provides a falsehood of security within itself. An endless question. A moment of heart, lost within mind. There are many explanations of this, and we could go on and on. In this case though, see it as how you want to believe it.

But remember…

People fall in and out of love every day, every hour, every minute. Did that surprise you when it happened to you? Did you want to give in, break down, and cry yourself to sleep? Sure, go ahead, but for a moment only. Do not allow yourself to fall into a pathetic state of mind. Things are meant to be, so obviously that love was not one of them. And you should not give up on life just because you had a chance at love, and it didn’t turn out the way you wanted. Look at this way – Was the whole relationship a total waste? Of course not, because at that time, you had no idea what you gained from loving, even if it were actually losing.

Here’s a good quote I came upon one day…

All my failings were preparations for the day I met you.

In some way, that must be true. Think about it. Could you have loved the next person, without knowing the love you had before. Maybe, maybe not.  But, never think of love as a failure. Each time that love passes you by, another love is given. A love stronger than the one before. Obviously, we as humans, need that to learn and to live. For we do not know in ourselves the capability that we own.  Only half of us see it in this perspective (sort of like – is the glass half empty or half full). And if you gave up after the first or second try, what good is that? A person must find their own rights and wrongs, before they can truly love another. Think about it, if you knew that loving someone would hurt so badly, you wouldn’t have done it in the first place. There is a 50/50 chance at all we do in life. Why not take the risk, leap totally into faith, and let fate be the decider. I’ve jumped, and believe me there was no bungee cord wrapped around my waist. So I have hit ground. And hard ground at that. But, that will not stop me from taking the jump once again, I will only be wiser when choosing where I want to land.

My advice…

Do not give up on something that might have not been in the first place.

Drama, drama… sits upon a comma

Here is a rant and a rave for you…

Is it not great when you are surrounded by people who have to have constant drama within their lives. I, for one, do not want to sit around daily and worry about what every one else is doing or thinking. I have much better things to do with my life, even cleaning my house leaves a much better taste in my mouth. I mean who seriously wants to spend their life in constant sorrow and stress. Not me.

So I am going to give you a couple of words to think about. If you are having problems reading them then try sounding them out. Hell, my seven year old can do it, and she even knows the meaning of them.

Acceptance – yeah that’s a mighty big word for some of you.

 

Honestly though, it has a simple definition. But,  just in case, the only thing that you need to know is that one must accept people for who they are. For if every single person in this world turned out to be the same type of person, that would be scary. We are all black and white, hot and cold, good and evil, wrong and right… get my drift. 

Oh and another big word for you…

Expectations – my famous thought (yeah it’s famous in my book)…

“It’s not the people who let you down, it’s your own expectation of them.”

I have no expectations of you or anyone else in my life. With that being said, I am never let down. I am always left feeling good about any situation that may arise.  I will let you know exactly how I feel and what I want, and there will be no expectations within that. You do as you please, and I will do the same. Believe me, it makes life a whole lot simpler.

And one more thing…

I feel that people should sweep off their own back porch before trying to clean mine. Need a broom, or do you want a vacuum for all the shit stored on there? I will even go and buy you some contractor bags if need be.  I am sure you know what I mean. If for instance, you have something bad to say about me, then in some way I will be able to turn it around to you, and you will then realize how pathetic your life is anyway. You know, shop vacs are not really all that expensive.

This might be hard for some of you to concept, but just take a few minutes, read over it a few times. Then do it again, until it is freshly impounded into your brain. It really is not hard at all, and the sooner you come to an understanding of this, then the sooner that you will be of some meaning in this world.

Sweet dreams, my queen…